Who am I now?

Who is this person I have become?
Depressed, cynical and a downer
Slow, unfriendly and ho-hum
It's me, the ultimate frowner

Fibomyalgia, HS and migraine
Satan in my skin wrapper
To me he dishes out pain
The ultimate kidnapper

Fibro fog, boils, poker in the eye
You want me to be normal?
I feel like giving up, I can't deny
Forgive me if I'm informal

Rocking back and forth, silent tears
I'm not a hypochondriac
I've been feeling it for years
Now I'm an insomniac

My old life has been taken from me
Against my will I started anew
Daily I prayed and took a knee
I'm finding it hard to follow through

I have now become the great pretender
Faking each day "look I'm fine"
When you aren't looking I surrender
Always grasping for a lifeline


I should take joy in other's bounty
Of course I know what's right
Complete jealousy confounds me
Sunny days have become night

There are many ways to be sick
And many more to be disabled
So believe me it's not a trick
No one wants to be labelled.

This is the life of chronic illness
It's lonely and unforgiving
I sit here in my own stillness
It's become my standard of living



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